A significant focus of this course has been on the value of effective communication. We've completed a number of writing assignments in class and on the Course Blog focused on the 50-word essay (much to the delight or chagrin of most of you) but let's now shift the focus to oral communication and social interactions for a bit.
Julia Feldmeier discusses the essentials of initial social communication etiquette (small talk) in her article, The Art of Small Talk, from The Washington Post, 02/10/08
Read the article at: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2008/02/08/ST2008020801605.html
CareerBuilder.com also provides some context for the importance of and tips for making small talk (via CNN.com, 03/04/05) in their article titled, 12 Tips for Making Small Talk.
Read the article at: http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/Careers/03/03/small.talk/index.html
In the comments section, respond to the following prompts:
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
Deadline to comment is Thursday, 10/22/2009, 11:59am
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1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDeleteTopics of conversation:
I’m comfortable discussing weather, news, sports, driving/traffic, travel, some pop culture of the day…
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
Some nonverbal cues:
Cues I usually notice are attentiveness, body language, eyes roaming, energy increase with crowd shifts, empty drink/hors d’oeuvres plate in-hand, obicularis oculi not contracting, silence, fidgeting, slouching posture.
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
These are socially acceptable: I skipped lunch today; can I refresh your drinks; I haven’t had a chance to greet the host; I need to use the rest room.
Lisa Beni
1) Five topics that I would feel comfortable using in small talk would be the NFL, World News, Food, Weather, and work.
ReplyDelete2)The cues I notice are facial expression, body positioning, conotation, and where the conversation goes.
3)A few appropriate exit strategies are excusing yourself to the restroom, relaying you are late for an event, and simply apologizing and saying you have to be heading on to work.
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDelete1- weather?
2- sports?
3- place of residence?
4- where you from?
5- what do you do for a living?
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
redirecting body position, eye contact, fidgiting, play with your phone
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
1- I'm so sorry running late to...
2- It was so great talking to you but I'm crazy busy we'll talk soon...
3- Can you call me later I have so much going on...
1) Assuming we're talking about small talk at something like a convention or cocktail party (been to a lot of the former, not so many of the latter), possible topics might include someone's specialty (assuming it's some kind of convention for people in a common field), where they're from (if it's a convention that draws in a lot of people from out of town), the event's host, the town the event is being hosted in, the food being served...
ReplyDelete2) Several cues I can think of that would indicate a change in the flow of the conversation might be eye contact, proxemics, the other person seeming anxious, how long it takes them to answer a question (that is, how long they talk about a subject; short, terse answers might mean they're not interested)...
3) Exit strategies I might consider include saying you've got to leave for a meeting or class, excusing yourself to visit the buffet, or, my personal favorite, introducing the person to somebody else and passing them off on them =)
5 topics of conversation as icebreakers:
ReplyDeleteCurrent college sports, activities at local theme parks, perspectives on the Florida Lottery system, bringing up my hobbies, and activities around house;
Non-verbal cues signaling a change in the flow of the conversation:
Crossing of arms, positioning of arm to support chin or head, wandering of eye focus on other items in environment, or changing of attention from conversation;
3-4 appropriate and polite exit strategies:
Politely excuse yourself to attend another matter of importance; Request a brief clarification on what the person is discussing and conclude in either way to talk about matter at some other time in more detail; Apologize for interruption, and indicate needing to speak with another person or client to leave the conversation;
These ideas are without regard to the environment, but are generalizations of activities I've done the past.
5 topics: Wether, music, where you live / have lived, relation to the host (if at a party / event), type of employment
ReplyDeleteNonverbal Cues: eyes wandering about the room, fidgeting with hands, general facial expressions, getting antsy / swaying
Exit Strategies: I need to use the restroom, I'm going to grab something to eat / drink, I'm late for work / meeting / etc, I need to talk with "blank"
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDelete1) i like asking people what there story is as an ice breaker, it gives them a chance to describe what moves them and i can work off that.
2) where are you from
3) what brings you the this location
4) talk about recent events in our society
5) Obama
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
loss of eye contact, tapping of the feet, not talking with hand gestures, looking in a different direction then the speaker, checking your cellphone, looking at your watch,
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
1)The one i use the most is hey excuse me im going to use the bathroom
2) im going to go get a drink im parched
3) I have a prior engagement that i have to get to, please excuse me
4) im late ! i will speak with you soon.
5) nice talking with you, im going to greet the rest of the guests. i will speak with you a little later.
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDelete1) food
2) majors
3) movies
4) tv shows
5) jobs
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
Looking around the room, shifting feet, hand fidgeting, trying to get someone else’s attention, REALLY long pauses, fake/nervous laughter…
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
Suddenly remembering you have to go ask someone a question, excusing yourself to the restroom, simply saying “it was nice talking with you, I’m sure I’ll see you around,”, or excusing yourself to get another drink.
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDelete1. occupation - "Do you also work at the hospital?"
2. event purpose - "how do you know. . ?" "how long have you been involved with . . .?"
3. Children - "Do you have any children performing?"
4. Current Health scares
5. Where you live
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
break of eye contact
crossed arms
shifting of weight
short, hummed answers (hmmm., ummm.)
heavy sighs
yawn
mouth shifts
can't remain still
ignoring your question
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
1. I hate to interuppt, but I need to speak with ______ before they leave. Excuse me.
2. I'll really have to think about that. Hmmm. It was nice speaking with you. Excuse me.
3. I was thinking of getting a drink. Can I bring you back anything?
4. I'm expecting a check-in call from my children. excuse me.
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDeleteFood
Book/Author you are currently reading
New Movies
Current Events
The drinks
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
Looking at a watch/clock
fidgeting,
long pauses
raised eyebrows
arms crossing
pursed lips
shrugged shoulders
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
Remarking on how late it is and heading home
Going to refill your plate/drink
Going to the bathroom
Mention a phone call you have to take
Politely say you need to mingle with other guests
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDeleteSchool
Food
Working out
Clothes
Hair
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
Looking away, turning your body away, slowly walking a conversation towards others
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
Going to the bathroom
Getting a drink
Have you seen ________
5 topics of conversation that I feel comfortable with are as follows:
ReplyDelete-sports, such as “Did you see how many calls the umpires missed last night?”
-astronomy, as in “Did you see the recent pictures of “ such and such, and then explain what a light year truly is and how far away the object in the picture is
-computers, talking mainly about the new windows 7 operating system and its benefits and detriments, or other aspects of networking or recent improvements and products
-cell phones, asking about theirs and whether they even like it, and talk about new ones I have seen that are about to come out
-family/children/pets, commenting on what pets I have and what my plans are for a family
The nonverbal cues that signify a change in the flow of conversation that I am familiar with are the constant trying to interrupt but not yet interrupt hand movement and mouth being agape cue, the not paying attention stare, the walk away, and the eyes wandering cue.
I think the idea of saying “I want to hear the rest of your story, but I need to speak with (blank), so find me later” or saying that I have to go to the restroom and we can talk later. I typically introduce friends and then walk away silently, and find that is somewhat polite. Sometimes I also pretend that my phone is ringing and it is someone important, and I ask if they mind if I take the call, and because I am asking them it seems polite.
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDeletePlace of origin, Musical taste, Newly released films, Weather, Current events.
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
Facial expressions are a good indicator of how the conversation is going. Attentivness, proximity, eye contact are all very telling.
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
I am in a bit of a hurry…
I am late for a meeting…
I hate to cut this short but I have to head to class
The two articles about small talk gave me some helpful pointers, and also reiterated some of the obvious tips.
ReplyDeleteFive topics of conversation that I would feel comfortable using as icebreakers, and would lead to small talk are: weather, traffic, traveling, food, and current events.
The following are nonverbal cues that may signal a change in the flow of conversation: wandering and/ or wide eyes, looking at the clocks, check your cell phone/ texting, sweating, and changes in posture.
The following are appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation: putting your hand out to shake, mention how you need to eat something (“I missed lunch and I need to check out the buffet! It’s going quick! The deserts are delicious, have you tried them”), introduce them to someone else.
With Pink’s position on empathy in mind, I believe empathetic robots will have an enormous impact on industries like customer service and engineering. There are already computer programs that assist customers (how well, I’m not sure), and if a machine controlled by a human can lift boulders, why can’t a robot do the same without the human..?
ReplyDeleteThe final robot displayed in the clip (Hanson Robot for kids) is supposed to someday become a child’s companion. Further, the robot friend is supposed to have the capability to learn. This may raise some ethical concerns because it could get into the wrong hands. Ever see the horror film “Chucky”? In the film, ‘Good Guy’ dolls tell their childhood companions: “We’re friends till the end”! Frankly, I find the robots in the video disturbing. Example: the Einstein-headed robot walking around would take some getting used to.
Pink emphasizes the importance and uniqueness of empathy to humans. However, he emphasizes that many jobs can be accomplished better and faster by computers. So, Pink may end up reforecasting his ideas after empathetic robot workers are incorporated into the workforce.
1.My icebreakers would definitely depend on the situation, so these are sort of random.
ReplyDeleteA) The weather is so wonderful! Do you know what it will be like tomorrow?
B) Did you hear about the police chase today?
C) Who do you think will end up in the World Series?
D) With the wind blowing so hard lately I am sure there are some waves…
E) I can’t wait to be finished with school so I can have a life…
2. Non verbal cues may include...
looking around the room, shifting their weight from one foot to the next, leaning against something, texting or checking phone, slight turn up of the nose, heavy breathing about a certain topic (politics for certain) and looking at their watch.
3.
A) I am so sorry Mr. So and So but I have to check the oven before the dinner burns.
B) Would you like a refill while I get one?
C) Excuse me, but I need to speak with so and so.
D) Introduce them to someone else and excuse yourself
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDelete1 Transportation devices
2 Food
3 Weather
4 The Arts
5 Technology
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
Shift in eye contact, crossing of the arms, turning of the body, out reach of a hand, fidgeting, look of boredom, yawning, checking watch or phone, rolling eyes, odd chin scratch.
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
Saying it was a pleasure talking to them, and you must get to another engagement.
Saying you are hungry.
Stating you have to use the restroom.
Utilize technology to have a fake call with a previously recorded voice come to your phone.
Mentioning that you have to go return some videotapes.
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDelete1 - Music (such as explaining band activities or favorite bands/artists)
2 - Books
3 - What brought the other person to the event, as well as explaining why I'm there myself.
4 - Movies (new movies or favorite movies)
5 - TV (what shows the other person is into)
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
Wandering eyes, looking around to see what others are doing
Frequently shifting posture/fidgeting
Crossing the arms
Long pauses
Sighing
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
Excusing yourself to the restroom.
Excusing yourself to get a drink or snack.
I often tell people that I want to mingle with others at an event and to say "hi" to those I haven't said "hi" to yet.
Introduce friends to other friends they may not have met before.
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDeleteThe 5 that I would use are :
Work
Golf
School
What are you doing for dinner?
How was your day?
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
Looking away from the person who you are talking to
Try to look as much uninterested as possible
Be short with your answers
Yawning also is a signal of boredom
Start to walk around anxiously
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
I got to get going
I had a great time with you today but I got to get going
It was nice seeing you
Have a great day
Being this age and leaving in an area with so many colleges, asking about school is usually a good opener for an introductory conversation.
ReplyDeleteAlong that same line, and especially for non-students, I try to find out about someone's work. What people do as a career is something I'm really interested in right now, so that generally leads to something we can engage in.
And, since it is, in fact, a town where people have moved to from many different places, I like to ask about a person's home town. Its always great to hear about living in different city (and sometimes country!).
Often if there's an upcoming holiday or event, I bring it up and ask what plans they may have in mind. This definitely a good way to see the things they like to do in their spare time.
As I'm sure I've mentioned in previous posts, travel really strikes my fancy. I usually tend to bring that up, and swap stories about the cool places we've been.
Feeling uncomfortable with the direction a conversation's going is usually the easiest sentiment to convey. A simple raising of the eyebrow and turning of the face usually works pretty well.
If you want to change the topic and talk about something that's just come to your mind, grasping someone's shoulder usually shows your genuine excitement in sharing a new train of thought.
When there's somewhere else you need to be, your general anticipation of getting going is usually enough of cue for the other person to wrap things up.
Unfortunately, there's definitely plenty of people that won't don't notice your change in demeanor. In this case its usually best for me to respond engagingly to what the person is saying, but with a sense of closure and add at the end: "I do have to get going, but I've really enjoyed talking to you about ____!"
If you had been discussing future plans or something the other person is working on, a simple "well definitely good luck on ____, be sure to let me know how it goes" is a pretty good signal.
So there's my small-talk 101!
5 openings: setting, weather, accessories, people around us, offer help
ReplyDeleteCues: Body language, loosing eye contact, awkward pauses, inconsistent coversation
Exits: "uh.... yeah...*walk away*" "I was actually about to leave before I stopped to talk to you, now Im sure I want to go" "thanks for the small talk"
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDelete1. How long have you been coming here?
2. Compliment their Car/Cloths/ Computer.
3. Compliment their composure (I.e. the way they handled a situation).
4. Comment on current events.
5. Inquire as to their favorite team/show/music.
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
1. sigh
2. crossing arms
3. smile
4. frown
5. raised eyebrow
6. looking away
7. direct eye contact
8. no change in expression when expected
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
1. Please excuse me I'm late for a class/appointment
2. Would you like to walk and talk?
3. If you don't mind, could we finish this conversation later when I have more time.
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDeletemusic, travel, weather, career, surf
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
Crossed arms, wondering eyes, body position, posture, yawning, sighing, voice changes
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
It’s been nice talking to you but I’ve got to make it to class.
I’ve got to let you go but we will talk more later.
I’m running late, it’s been nice talking to you.
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDeleteAs stated in the article, it’s important to come up with three things to talk about as well as four generic questions that will get others talking. If you've met the host before, try to remember things about her, such as her passion for a sport or a charity you're both involved in. Five topics of conversation that I would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk would be: open-ended questions such as stating what my favorite kind of music is, what’s yours? What’s their line of work? Third,ask what their goal and ambitions are, fourth.. Where are they from? Fifth, what are their hobbies and explain what mine are as well.
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
Nonverbal cues that im familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation are: non-eye contact, glancing around the room while others are talking to you, and fidgeting,
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
Appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation are having a few exit lines ready so that both parties can both gracefully move on. For example, "I need to check in with a client over there," "I skipped lunch today, so I need to visit the buffet," or you can offer to refresh their drink. The text also states that encounters should make a good impression and leave people wanting more. To do that, the author advises: "Be bright. Be brief. Be gone."
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDelete1.local sports teams
2.winning the lottery
3.weather
4.movies
5.music
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
If it looks like one or both of us are struggling to be interested that is usually a good clue to get out. Also, as stated in the article, if someone is scanning the room they are probably over the conversation.
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
Talking to the host, getting more food or drinks, someone else is requesting your attention, and if absolutely necessary excusing yourself to go to the restroom always works.
1) List 5 topics of conversation that you would feel comfortable using as icebreakers that would lead to small talk.
ReplyDelete1. Obviously, the weather.
2. Right now, College.
3. Careers.
4. Food, likes and dislikes.
5. Pets/cats.
2) List as many nonverbal cues as you are familiar with that may signal a change in the flow of the conversation.
When there is a lag in the conversation, uncomfortable body language, when a person starts tries to involve another person in conversation, shifting from foot to foot.
3) List 3-4 appropriate exit strategies for politely ending a conversation.
1. Indicating that you have somewhere to be.
2. Excusing yourself to the bathroom.
3. Expressing the need to check on your significant other.
1) Sports, weather, economy, foods, fashion
ReplyDelete2) Crossed arms, wondering eyes, nodding of head, shifting of weight, looking at other people.
3) Excuse your self by saying you are hungry and thank them for the conversation and walk away.
Excuse your self to talk to someone else.
Excuse your self to the bathroom
I am not the best conversationalist. I love presenting and teaching, but throw into a cocktail party or corporate shindig and I am thrown.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely trying to work on it, especially once I graduate. In the hospitality industry it is all about who you know!
Five Topics:
- The Location "have you been here before?" "what do you think of this place?"
- The Time "how has the year been for you so far?" "this is one of my favorite times of you, what about you?"
- Home "Where are you originally from?" then reply with "oh what was it like to grow up there?" This one is big, that is why Disney puts hometowns on the nametags of cast members.
- Shopping (yes even with men) "That's a neat ______, where did you find that?"
- Travel "where have you visited / been to in the last year or two?"
Non Verbal Cues: looking away a lot, fidgeting, shifting their weight away from you, turning away as opposed to leaning in
Exit Strategies: "It's been great speaking with you, here's my card I'd love to hear more about (something interesting the person brought up) give me a call or shoot me an e-mail"
"I hope you continue to enjoy the evening, if you don't mind I need to speak with a colleuge of mine"
"I need to grab some water, I look forward to speaking with you again sometime"
And I saw someone post "Obama" as being an appropriate topic. My apologies but I do not agree. Remember sex, politics, and religion are all off limits.